Tuesday, April 20, 2010

An Open Letter to the CTA on the New 5000 Series Trains

Dearest CTA,

I’m quite pleased with the changes you’re making to your great citywide transit city by putting put some of the much older rail cars out of their misery and retiring them behind the shed. In their old age, they began to spell like piss. Like, year-round.

The new cars are amazing. They tell time so you know how late your train is. They tell you where you currently are on the Red Line so that you can figure out where you would be given the trains were running on schedule. They also have seats where people can sit and face each other for more awkward or casual moments.

I only really have one complaint about the new cars. If you’re going to give the new rail cars to the Red Line, why don’t you save some people the trouble and just pour buckets of piss on the floor yourself so that someone else won’t feel the need to. I mean, it’s not like we want to have nice things or anything. That’s just a silly idea.


P.S. Make way for shinys!


  1. There's a 404 when I try to open your link. Also, second line down the first paragraph I think you meant to say "putting some" but you have put after putting.

    And I hope to ride that train before the smell begins to permeate the new carts.

  2. Also, I think you meant 'smell' instead of 'spell' on that next to the last sentence in the first paragraph. Not that the last sentence in the first paragraph should count as a full sentence. *smart ass* XD