Tuesday, March 2, 2010

CTA: Cat Trapping Agenda

Let’s play a game; A game where you have to use your imagination. Just between us, we’ll call this game “make believe.”

Imagine that you’re a cat; if you’re younger than 18, feel free to imagine yourself as a kitten, maybe a really cute one with a nice little bell your owner forced on you so you can’t creep around like cats do. Imagine that you needed to get from point A to point B but needed a kitty carrier to lift you to your destination. You find yourself outside for a few minutes waiting and a carrier eventually arrives and stops right before your little paws. The little gate opens and you climb in, pay for your fare with your hard earned Meow Mix, then claim a spot for yourself on the left center of the carrier. You sit and watch kittens jump up, down, and all around the carrier, their parents not doing a thing until you give them that cold, serious stare. A few minutes of not being to enjoy the silence later you climb out of the carrier and arrive at your destination within an adequate amount of time. Fin.

Imagine again that you are a cat, or a kitten with a very annoying bell if that’s what floats your boat, and you needed to get from point A to point B. You take to the streets and wait for the carrier and after a few minutes you realize that you’re not on a carrier, but still outside. You board the carrier after a longer wait and it is noticeably more populated. You have a bit more trouble claiming a spot because there are other cats everywhere. You give up your precious Meow Mix pieces, and then look around for a spot to settle. You don’t want to share your personal area because you’re a cat after all. You get to your destination, but you wonder if you have to put up with that every day. Every so often, you find yourself even more irritated and sometimes there are other cats that begin to vent their frustration on each other, raising the irritation of everyone in the carrier. Then you wonder if it’s worth giving up your Meow Mix pieces up for.

Maybe a certain itty bitty kitty committee best get the scooper and clean up the litter box because it’s really starting to stink.


  1. Imagine you are a lioness, trapped in the cage of the local zoo. Everyday people come by and you overhear stories of the outside world and the lives of those cats who take carriers everyday. You yourself are forced to make arrangements to take a mega carrier and hand over your sparse, hard earned Meow Mix [acquired through self abasing performances for the zoo caretakers]if you chose to leave your zoo. You arrive to the center of the cat world only to find out that after two and a half hours of exhausting travel you still have to wait for inconsistent, incompatible, overflowing, inadequate carriers. But this is your only means of transportation so you force yourself to get on and restrain yourself from pouncing on the nearest clutter of younglings contemplating the next whereabouts of their hoodlum lifes, while in your jaded years you just wanna get the hell off the carrier and get home. Eventually you arrive and bounce down the stairs. But now the second carrier takes it's sweet, sweet time in getting there during which time it begins to get more crowded. So finally it arrives and you find a spot next to an unkempt old cougar who takes you for freshmeat and a rowdy well aged lion who has nothing better to do than meow and purr with the female cat in charge of the carrier which manages to do nothing other than delay the take off which results in your arriving at your destination at least a good half hour after expected.
    And you can't help but think... this kitty world would be much better if hyenas ran the world.

  2. Yeah, I don't miss public transportation.