An Open Letter to the CTA on the New 5000 Series Trains

Dearest CTA,

I’m quite pleased with the changes you’re making to your great citywide transit city by putting put some of the much older rail cars out of their misery and retiring them behind the shed. In their old age, they began to spell like piss. Like, year-round.

The new cars are amazing. They tell time so you know how late your train is. They tell you where you currently are on the Red Line so that you can figure out where you would be given the trains were running on schedule. They also have seats where people can sit and face each other for more awkward or casual moments.

I only really have one complaint about the new cars. If you’re going to give the new rail cars to the Red Line, why don’t you save some people the trouble and just pour buckets of piss on the floor yourself so that someone else won’t feel the need to. I mean, it’s not like we want to have nice things or anything. That’s just a silly idea.

Sincerely,            

LeetAmerico

P.S. Make way for shinys!

Ask me anything…

…but not why I skipped my Transit Tuesday post yesterday. I actually had a good story about random conversations that I’ll save for next week.

…and you can’t ask why this post is so short. It’s 11:46pm (as I’m typing this right now).

…but make sure it’s a question. An actual question, not statements. But statements with question marks are questions. (It also applies in French, by the way.) Anyway, feel free to ask away (even anonymously if you wish) HERE.

CTA: Cat Trapping Agenda

Let’s play a game; A game where you have to use your imagination. Just between us, we’ll call this game “make believe.”

Imagine that you’re a cat; if you’re younger than 18, feel free to imagine yourself as a kitten, maybe a really cute one with a nice little bell your owner forced on you so you can’t creep around like cats do. Imagine that you needed to get from point A to point B but needed a kitty carrier to lift you to your destination. You find yourself outside for a few minutes waiting and a carrier eventually arrives and stops right before your little paws. The little gate opens and you climb in, pay for your fare with your hard earned Meow Mix, then claim a spot for yourself on the left center of the carrier. You sit and watch kittens jump up, down, and all around the carrier, their parents not doing a thing until you give them that cold, serious stare. A few minutes of not being to enjoy the silence later you climb out of the carrier and arrive at your destination within an adequate amount of time. Fin.

Imagine again that you are a cat, or a kitten with a very annoying bell if that’s what floats your boat, and you needed to get from point A to point B. You take to the streets and wait for the carrier and after a few minutes you realize that you’re not on a carrier, but still outside. You board the carrier after a longer wait and it is noticeably more populated. You have a bit more trouble claiming a spot because there are other cats everywhere. You give up your precious Meow Mix pieces, and then look around for a spot to settle. You don’t want to share your personal area because you’re a cat after all. You get to your destination, but you wonder if you have to put up with that every day. Every so often, you find yourself even more irritated and sometimes there are other cats that begin to vent their frustration on each other, raising the irritation of everyone in the carrier. Then you wonder if it’s worth giving up your Meow Mix pieces up for.

Maybe a certain itty bitty kitty committee best get the scooper and clean up the litter box because it’s really starting to stink.